


A Glimps of Hope

by Mukashii



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M!Handers, M/M, Mage Hawke (Dragon Age), Post-Canon, Post-Dragon Age II, Pre-Dragon Age: Inquisition, Song - Freeform, Tavern, handers - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-26
Updated: 2020-04-26
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:21:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23862208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mukashii/pseuds/Mukashii
Summary: After the mages rebellion and Meredith's death, Hawke and Anders run away from Kirkwall and the latter isn't at his best but Hawke may have found something to cheer him up. Maybe he just needs to know some people are on his side.
Relationships: Anders/Hawke (Dragon Age), Anders/Male Hawke
Comments: 2
Kudos: 9





	A Glimps of Hope

**Author's Note:**

> Hi ! I just finished playing Dragon Age 2 again after several years and I almost forgot how much I loved this game. I saw a prompt on tumblr about Hawke dragging Anders in a tavern and I really wanted to write something about those two because I love them so much !
> 
> Hope you'll enjoy it !

Hawke looked up at Anders, a scowl hadn't left his face for weeks and it was even worse since their friends had gone their separate ways. The blond man was scared, he was suspicious of everyone they met, and Hawke wondered if this was how Anders felt all those times he escaped from Kinloch Hold. The anxiety of being discovered at any moment, the fear... he didn't know how he beared living this alone. 

Everywhere they went people were talking about what happened to Kirkwall. They regularly heard here and there about the mad mage who destroyed the Chantry and started the war between the Mages and the Templars, or about the abomination that killed hundreds of innocent people. The apostates they came across also spoke of the monster who destroyed their lives by forcing them to flee, and that's what hurt Anders the most. He hardly spoke anymore and Hawke started to get really worried, it wasn't in his habit to be so downhearted.

He did what he did to free the mages from the oppression of the Chantry and the templars, to free people like him because he couldn't stand to see women, men or even children threatened or killed at the will of their prison guards and some of them hated him anyway. Hawke could see in the eyes of the man he loved how hurt he was and felt powerless in the face of his despair. 

He tried to cheer him up with a few jokes or funny remarks but even that left him indifferent and as if it wasn't enough Justice tend to appear more frequently these days. Anders was able to keep him under control for now but he feared the spirit would eventually get the upper hand. Fortunately, Hawke was always there to reassure him because he trusted him and he knew Anders was stronger that that even in doubts.

Because of all this and since they left Kirkwall a few weeks earlier the blond mage was feeling at his lowest. Their friends left them one by one until Varric returned to the City of Chains a few days earlier, leaving them alone. As a result, Anders wasn't even trying to put on a good face anymore, hiding how much he was affected by the events. They saw templars in almost every city or village they passed through, avoiding them was even more difficult than before and they saw fighting between them and apostates in hiding several times. The clashes were violent, full of hatred and most villagers rejected all the mages they saw, adults or children, more brutally than before. 

Thus, since the explosion of the Chantry and Kirkwall's events the situation was chaotic. News of what happened spread like wildfire across the north of the continent and reached Orlais and Ferelden in a matter of days. Everywhere in Thedas the mages were revolting and fleeing from the Circles but the templars were ruthless. 

They witnessed this when arriving near Cumberland three days earlier, they found a hamlet ravaged by fighting and were lured by the cries of a child in the distance. They flew to his rescue and found themselves facing a group of templars circling two young apprentices not older than ten, swords in their hands and ready to kill them. One of the children, the older one, was trying to protect the other, a little girl curled up behind him and crying.

Anders got rid of the attackers quickly and the children thanked him, which Hawke knew meant a lot to him. It was the first time since they left Kirkwall that someone showed him gratitude or just general kindness, and that's the kind of thing he needed lately.

The two mages left the Free Marches staying as far away from Starkhaven as possible. Sebastian was a man of his word and even though he had been his friend Hawke knew he would show no mercy to Anders if he came face to face with him after what he had done. As to their destination, they at first hesitated whether to go to Tevinter or back south, to Ferelden. The former was probably spared from the starting war but they did not want to be surrounded by slavers and blood mages, so they preferred the second option. In any case, in these times any place was risky anyway. Nearly two months after their departure from Kirkwall, they almost reached Orlais and stopped for the night in an almost empty inn not far from Arlesans.

“Hawke," Anders called, sitting on the edge of the bed. “Don't you want to be with your brother? He's your family and you could -”

“In your dreams, Blondie,” Garrett interrupted him, he didn't want to hear this. There was no way he would let him alone now. He promessed to be with him and he wasn't a liar.

“I am serious," he said, looking up at him and ignoring the nickname usually used by Varric. He had been doing this occasionally since the latter left, to try to make the mage smile. “With me you're a fugitive. You have nothing to blame yourself for, I'm the one who's wanted and I don't want you to be at risk because of me, I could never forgive myself. 

“I'm an apostate and templars aren't all like Cullen, they'll always find a reason to blame us for something,” Hawke was near the window, looking outside. “Carver's a Grey Warden, he's doing just fine on his own, plus I'm not sure he would be happy to see me and there's no way I'm abandoning you,” he leaned against the wall and turned towards him, “you're not getting rid of me that easily, sweetheart.”

“Hawke -”

“Nope, don't "Hawke" me. End of discussion.”

Anders looked down again, he knew it wouldn't be so easy to convince that stubborn mulehead to leave, but at the same time he was relieved to have someone to rely on and not be alone, for the first time since Karl. He was happy to have him by his side for three years, he couldn't have asked for better company. Still, somewhere in his mind the thought he didn't deserve him and he was a danger to him was there, fighting with this little voice, sometimes louder than Justice's, telling him that he could enjoy the little happiness that was within his reach, but the spirit was strong.

**_“HE IS NOT IMPORTANT.”_**

_“Stop it. You're wrong.”_

**_“HE SLOWS US DOWN IN OUR DUTY.”_**

_“I don't care. I love him.”_

**_“HUNDREDS OF MAGES ARE BEING CHASED AWAY WHILE YOU'RE DISTRACTED WITH HIM.”_**

_“Shut up!”_

Anders closed his eyes in an attempt to shut down the voice of Justice out of his head when he felt a soft warmth on his cheek. He opened his eyes again and met Hawke's tender gaze, kneeling before him. Immediately Justice vanished from his mind.

“I don't intend to leave you alone.” he murmured. His touch was light and pleasant on his skin. “Who will take care of you and force you to eat and sleep if I'm not there?” he teased.

The blond let out a small laugh and increased the pressure of his cheek against Hawke's hand, craving for contact, then the latter approched to kiss him gently. Anders' hands tangled immediately in Garrett's dark locks, pulling him towards himself. Every time he kissed him, touched him or told him he loved him he felt like he was going to wake up and find out it was all a dream and felt desperate. He enjoyed the sensation of his lips against his for as long as he could, until they had to separate to catch their breath.

Hawke hugged him, they stayed in each others arms for a long time and in spite of himself Anders started to think about the last weeks again.

“The more time goes by, the more I tell myself that I made a mistake," he said against Hawke's shoulder, thightening his grip on his clothes. “It's my fault Thedas is tearing appart.”

“That's not true,” he reassured him. “You did what you had to and the war between the mages and the templars would have broken out anyway, it's not your fault.”

“Of course, you're not the one who's hated by a whole continent.”

“Anders," he said, raising his chin with his fingers to force him to look him in the eye. “You gave hope to mages in all the Circles throughout Thedas, they are rising up one after the other against the Chantry and the Order thanks to you, fighting for their freedom. Those who have a brother, a sister or a child in a Circle are grateful to you.”

“This is not what people say everywhere we go," he muttered with a bitter scoff.

Hawke looked at him for a few moments, he hated seeing him doubting himself. He was concentrating on what was wrong and he had to do something to cheer him up. Something he heard during the day suddenly came to his mind and he started to smile, he knew what to do.

He got up without a word and grabbed Anders' cloak under his surprised gaze and put it on his shoulders then pulled the hood over his head to hide his face.

“What are you doing?”

Garrett kissed him quickly and smiled. “Just trust me,” He grabbed him by the hand and led him outside.

There wasn't a single person, the lights of a village shone slightly in the distance and he led his lover in that direction ignoring the questions he was asking. They passed a few houses without crossing the path of a guard then Hawke stopped in front of a tavern. He opened the door, pulling him behind him and led them to an isolated table in the darkest corner and ordered two pints from the waitress who approached them. 

Anders sat down in front of him but he still didn't understand why he took him to a tavern, he wasn't in the mood for that recently.

“Hawke, seriously, what are we doing here?” He asked. “This is no time to -”

He suddenly stopped when he heard his name. He looked around for the person who called him, fearing someone could have recognized him. Then he realized no one "called" him. His name wasn't called. It was repeated, his name was... Sung ? His gaze then fell on the bard in the centre of the tavern, all eyes were turned towards her, no one was talking so that everyone in the room could enjoy the melody. Some had a smile on their faces as they listened to how he saved the mages from Kirkwall. At this moment he realized there were people admiring him. These people loved him.

“You were saying?” Hawke whispered near his ear, smiling at the shock on his face.

He looked at him, unable to say a word before turning back to the center of the room. Anders could hardly realize what was happening. He couldn't stop a tear from falling down his cheek when he as the song that kept playing and couldn't take his eyes off the show in front of him. 

“What a lovely song, isn't it?” the waitress asked as she saw the expression on Anders' face after putting the pints on the table but he didn't even hear it, too focused on the music. “It is very popular in the taverns of the region.”

“It's lovely, indeed" Hawke replied in his place without losing his smile.

“You come from Ferelden? I recognized your accent.”

“Free Marches," he answered without going into detail.

“The mage of the song, Anders," she continued with a gentle air towards the bard. “I'd love to meet him.”

This made his head turn, and he finally focused on her.

“Oh yeah?” he said, still not believing what he was hearing and seeing.

“Of course! My little brother was in the Gallows during the events in Kirkwall, he was one of the apprentices who managed to escape, and he came back to us thanks to him and the Champion. If I could meet him I would thank him for helping my family to be together again.”

“So, you don't think he's a monster ?” Anders asked, afraid of the answer because that was what people said about him. He was a monster, an abomination.

“Maker, no ! Why would I think such thing ? He's a hero and I even heard he was a very attractive man...”

Anders was stunned. Hawke, his amused and tender gaze on him, was happy he finally realized he was not alone, supported.

The waitress walked away, called by other customers and the song stopped, immediately followed by the cheers of a few people sitting at the other end of the tavern.

“You did the right thing," Hawke whispered, taking Anders' hand in his and squeezing it gently. “Thanks to you people are reunited again with their loved ones.”

The blond mage held his gaze for a few moments and then lowered his head as lute notes echoed through the room. Until now he hadn't heard anyone say he was a hero or that he had done something good, he didn't even know there were people to think this but thanks to Hawke he was regaining hope. His chest swelled with love as he looked up at him, he knew he could trust him blindly, he proved many times the feeling was mutual. 

They drank, enjoying the pleasant atmosphere of the tavern reminding them of their evenings at the Hanged Man playing Wicked Grace with Varric, Isabela and the others over a drink. Hawke enjoyed these moments with his friends and in the last few weeks they hadn't really had a chance to relax and neither of them realized how much they needed this. They spent the last few weeks running away from Kirkwall and staying as far away from the fightings as they could.

“Alright," Hawke said, finishing his drink with a smile. “Do you want to go and tell these people it's your praise they've been singing since we've been here or can we go back to the inn?”

“Don't be jealous love," Anders replied, slightly drunk and in a much better mood than a few hours earlier. “You're already famous, I'm sure Varric will write a book about you or something.”

“Yes, yes, we are two heroes... let's go.”

They left the tavern and walked quietly in the stillness of the night to their inn and went to bed without wasting a minute. In the darkness, all Anders could see was the shape of Hawke's face just inches away from his own. He stroked his cheek and his hair, smiling. He always struggled to realize he was still there with him sometimes even after all these years, still taking care of him and helping him.

“Thank you for what you did today, love. I think I needed that.”

“Well I didn't do much you know, just heard children talking about "Anders the rebel hero" this afternoon. Thought you might be interested.”

“You're an idiot,” he said laughing, then he kissed him and put his forehead against his and didn't move for a few seconds. “I love you, more than anything.”

“Yeah I know, I have this effect on people who meet me.” He smiled seeing Anders smile and was happy to be able to cheer him up a bit. “I love you too,” he added a moment later.

He pulled him into another kiss, stroking his hair gently, showing him how much he loves him. He wanted him to understand that he supported him no matter what and that he would always be there for him because he knew how hard things had been for him. He had the courage to do what no one else would have dared to make things right, for his cause. It was at first with the apostate who cared for Darktown's refugees without asking for anything in return, who put his life and freedom at risk without thinking twice about it that he fell in love, and not a day went by without him being grateful to the Maker for having met Anders. 

Neither of them knew what lay ahead in the days, weeks, or months to come, but all Hawke knew was that things would work out in the end. Troubles usually find him, but hopefully the world was in enough chaos to leave them alone for a little while.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked it ! Leave kudos or comments to let me know what you think :)  
> I'm sorry if there are mistakes, I proofread several times but English isn't my native language so please be indulgent x)


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